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May 2nd, 2014 at 2:27 am

  Three decades I found myself bound by the daemons of the old master; dissociation from all that surrounded me, all that I had once loved only brought me to places sending me writhing in pain and abandonment.  

Tepid emotions poured from every hole in my soul as I walked against the wind on Lexington Avenue, the scream of cold steel on the rails when the subway reached its destination below my feet in the snow.  Lost in the wilderness of concrete and muttering foreigners from all corners of the world, I walked on looking back over my shoulder hoping to see someone I had known.  Nonsensical whispers into the silver air, a beckoning voice came from somewhere within me, asking where I may find my way and for anyone to tell me where I was going, replied in black silence. Death's sweet kiss had missed my lips but I was still bound by curse, by the myriad of devils which clung to the very strands of my hair, refusing to be exorcised.  

Sacrifice freed me me, still my heart could not discover the truth and my head could not tell me the difference.  

Years passed like dead leaves falling from the oak tree outside of my window, and where I had once found myself sleeping on a mattress on a basement floor, I now slept in all of the fineries of an upper floor and grand bed with posts.  The world of mighty spirits, ghosts, daemons and angels had delivered me up and rested me in a place of beauty and solitude, only for me to place my head on my wrist, crying in both exhaustion and wonderment of how I had made it this far.  Limbs of the oak tree pawed nervously at my window and the bellowing of the wind through the tin roof made a small choir singing for my pain.  It wasn't as grand as anyone else would perceive it--this life I now lead.  It was paltry, insignificant and meaningless to anyone. No human cared for my life in any manner; it had no value to anyone, now, not even to myself.  I had no value or worth to anyone--only what my monetary value was, and a  young foreign man proved to me this was the case.  It was only the gold on my hands and the balances in my bank account which assured any advantage to me whatsoever.  Adrift on a sea of placid waves, calm sky of never ending dusk, I sailed on, wondering still what really had passed back then.  Turning to the helm of the ship I asked the ghostly captain of my voyage to show me, to explain to me why all had passed that did for I could have no peace from the devils upon my head until the truth shone upon it, revealing.

On the thirteenth day on the day of Saturn I was struck by the old master, a soul from the days of the first Queen Elizabeth, and evil was shot into me, falling twenty five, thirty years back, and then sixty years before my time.  The journey began.  The sea turned dark, the ghostly captain handed me a crumbling map and abandoned the navigation of the ship.  The winds wailed, angels wept torrents, scorpions and bees stung my skin and lightening struck the bow, yet only scarred the wood, allowing me stay afloat.  

At that moment I was liberated.  Some truth was revealed and my heart found her way to harbor.  I was revealed in the mystery that the shade was what I'd loved all along and not the old master, not the medium.  I was liberated from him, although he posed in the same clothing, he could not pass the glamour any longer at his age; he'd lost his strength and valor, and every soul he'd conjured now turned on him in betrayal.  

Spreading my arms to embrace the furious sky and thrusting back my head with laughter I was, at last, liberated; every devil in my hair combusted and fell to its demise and the rain washed me completely clean of them.  No prayer, nor sacrifice, no burnt offering under any tree or celestial angel had rescued me from the bondage; it was my own self, the reflection in the mirror, which had exorcised and freed me; it was myself which liberated me.  

Gold on my fingers and in my pockets now have no worth. I am now my own value.  I can liberate. I can set free and cast out the evils.  Freedom brings power to liberate fellow beings, to make a difference and to have a place.


To be continued....


Tags: Freeing Ourselves From Bondage